Ultimate Spider-Man: Jump the Shark
Issue: #67
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Pencils: Mark Bagley
Inker: Scott Hanna
Colors: J. D. Smith

The issue begins with a brief "commercial" in which Brian Michael Bendis is forcing assistant editor Nick Lowe to confess that this story of Peter and Wolverine switching bodies was Lowe's idea. Bendis throws Lowe off-panel and says this is the last part of this story.

"Wolverine", who is really Peter Parker in the wrong body, crawls out from under the SUV under the watchful eye of a police officer with a gun drawn. Inside the school, "Peter" sneaks out of the classroom while his classmates and teacher watch the drama outside the school. "Wolverine" is being taken into police custody, but can't control his claws, which keep popping out on their own. Finally he runs for it; an officer shoots him with a taser. "Peter" thumps his head against a tree over "Wolverine's" stupidity. As the police put "Wolverine" in the squad car, he tells "Peter" to put the costume on and to fix this situation.

At the precinct, "Wolverine" gets his phone call. He requests the number of the Xavier School for Gifted Students. Kitty Pryde answers the phone. She recognizes Logan's voice. "Wolverine" explains that he's Spider-Man, that he and Wolverine have switched bodies, and that he's in jail right now. Kitty is overcome with laughter. Ororo takes the phone. "Wolverine's" claws pop out again, and a nervous police officer shoots him with the taser again.

Elsewhere, "Peter" is putting on the mask and the webshooters of the Spider-Man costume. He refuses to don the rest of the outfit. He manages to climb a wall to the top of a building, meaning to swing to the police station. He ends up dangling in mid-air at the end of the webbing because he can't get the hang of traveling this way. At the police station, "Wolverine" is actually enjoying the quiet until "Spider-Man" breaks in and attacks the police. A ricocheting bullet hits him in the forehead. Finally "Spider-Man" explains how to open the lock by sticking one of "Wolverine's" adamantium claws through it. The two climb to the roof and begin complaining about each other's powers and background. They accuse each other of being responsible for this mess.

Finally they begin comparing memories of what each last remembered from the night before when there's a commotion in the street. The Shocker is robbing a bank. "Wolverine" leaps in to help,and "Spider-Man" follows. Both confront The Shocker, but end up arguing with each other instead. In the middle of the debate, "Spider-Man" snares The Shocker with a strand of webbing, and "Wolverine" punches The Shocker in the face to knock him out.

At that moment the X-Men arrive. Jean Gray immediately accuses Wolverine of hitting on her, and reminds him that she had warned him she would take drastic action if he did it again. She said she used her psychic abilities to put Wolverine's brain where it least wanted to be. Both "Wolverine" and "Spider-Man" ask her to fix it, which she does, switching them back to their proper bodies. Spider-Man curses her out for getting him involved in the whole issue and swings off. Jean considers sending him a basket of something to apologize. Scott Summers asks Wolverine how high school was. Wolverine just smiles.

At home, Peter finds Mary Jane sitting on the front step. She tells Peter that he was a jerk today, and he apologizes, saying that he wasn't himself. She hugs him, but asks if they could save "that thing you tried to do this morning" until they were older. The issues ends with the startled look on Peter's face.


Submitted By: Seldes Katne